While we were on our giant adventure last year, for one full week we were at Ghost Ranch (which turned out to be a very different place than it was when I worked a Presbyterian Youth Minister in the early 90's---ACK!). Our accommodations were spartan, miserably hot, and mostly without modern conveniences. After an initial jerkfest of about two days, something very very strange happened...
...the mouthy, attitude-driven snarkmonster that had been our ENTIRE existence with my son for two years suddenly, almost breathlessly abruptly, died. It was gone. He was suddenly patient and respectful and willing to play cards for hours and sit and stare at sunsets and calmly accompany us places that were new and uncomfortable and be part of the family group without all the cheeky resistance. It was weird.
I decided at first that it was just the heat and weirdness of no modern conveniences making him cling to the only normal left---the Firstborn and myself.
However, we moved on to our next destination at the end of the week...a hotel with a television included.
Twenty minutes of Spongebob later, the monster returned. I will never forget my perceptive Firstborn uttering what sounded like a death sentence for my sparse freedom-from-autism-constant-monitoring-for-safety life that I had while he was watching tv, she said "I think it's the television that's doing it. We should stop him from watching it."
And with that, because it was so clearly true, I removed Nickelodeon, Disney, and ALL commercial television from our life.
A year later, we've watched a LOT of Netflix tv shows. Star Trek: TNG, Star Trek: the original series; Star Trek: DS9; and apparently the never-ending story itself---Stargate SG-1. During the year, we added Doctor Who catch up for my son, and that is still ongoing (there are rather a lot of things to catch up on).
It has opened up worlds for him and for us. We are now cosplayers, we go to sci-fi conventions, we have new friends and new things to look forward to. Mostly though, his attitude is fantastic. His concentration has improved, and he is happier with the adults around him being adults.
I believe, after this year of "deprivation" that I really can say that the "entertainment" being force fed to our dormant children by the businesses whose sole goal is their bottom line is destructive propaganda which seeks to separate adult authority from the home just so that children become consumers at a much younger age. It is appalling to think back on the things I watched with him during our "anti-parent TV" days. Disney has gone round the bend. Nickelodeon is right behind them. If you have not actually WATCHED what your children are watching, I STRONGLY encourage you to do so. It is not just the shows, btw. The ads are constantly reinforcing the core message. If you pay attention, you will see families depicted as having idiot adults who muddle around with these snarky children who always know better than the adults do, and should therefore be allowed to rule the roost and have "fun" at the expense of others as their entertainment. It's scary if you really watch and if you value your child's belief in conscientiously-applied authority being the best path to safety. They will not believe it anymore in very short order.
So, I am grateful we were brave. I am grateful we persevered. I am super grateful for NETFLIX and Comcast on Demand.
This reenforces my belief that most TV shows are detrimental to our children. They grow up thinking that this is the way life should be and act accordingly.
ReplyDeleteThe autistic are especially susceptible to believing that what is portrayed on a screen is real. I think a lot of the behavior I see in the Junior Youth Choir kids is a result of believing the family portrayals and not having that significantly challenged in their day to day lives. It's tragic. For all of us.
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