Check out this crazy autism fact that no one has told you...

Clickbait titles are for dodo's.  I hope you in no way fell for that.

Here's what we're talking about today:  the inverse relationship between impulse control and allergy attacks.  When ragweed comes calling, just run for the hills because many of the people with developmental idiosyncracies that you know and love will turn into Tasmanian devils until it starts raining.  Grab a pollen count app, look at it each morning, and on a scale of one to "I'm screwed" ask yourself what kind of day to expect with your spectrum child (or ADHD child, or even your best friend with the coffee addiction...it happens to a whole bunch of children and adults to a greater or lesser degree, but people with impaired impulse control to begin with are WAY MORE LIKELY TO LOSE THEIR MARBLES so watch out!).

If Monsanto managed to accidentally kill off all the ragweed on the planet, I would not mourn.

Parenting someone on the spectrum in September looks like this:

Autism + allergies = constantly being forced to growl this question through a clenched jaw and shocked countenance:  "WHY THE HELL DID YOU THAT?!?"

It's always such fun to weather the September and April versions of this storm.

For example:  yesterday, my son managed to have an aggressive fit on the playground because he got out there too late to "pitch" in kickball and he didn't have an aide (due to a series of unfortunate events in SpEd) and no one realized that he was three sheets to the wind (even though I sent them the pollen counts and warned them ahead of time) and likely to have the impulse control of a gorilla on meth.

So...he led with his ever popular "gorilla on meth" personality.

This ended badly for him, and another child, who had what is best described as a road rage "fender bender" during kickball.  *sigh*

I pulled him from school today, and we spent the day going to a doc in a box, who for shits and giggles decided that a decadron shot and some rocephin would set the world to rights again...

Autism + Decadron = steroidal insanity

Let me tell you about decadron:  it can make a rational human being decide they are effing bulletproof.  In my case, it made me decide I could help send a choir to Rome by raising money doing nothing but baking my admittedly fantastic cinnamon rolls.  To my dismay, they were a hit, and so my decadron-fueled delusions of grandeur and need to honor all commitments I make no matter how insane they were when I made them,  resulted in my having to bake cinnamon rolls for the next 24 weekends straight...  I really regretted that one, so let's all pause for a moment and consider this:

HE GAVE THE AUTISTIC HELLION DECADRON.  A STEROID.  

Which will most likely help the allergy problem, but first we have to survive the cure.

So..this afternoon, I took him outside for more sunlight so that his body could fight off the tonsilitis caused by the constant dripping of his sinuses, and turned on the sprinkler.  Then, I took my handy-dandy portable bluetooth speaker out there, cranked up the Foreigner (Hot Blooded, Cold as Ice are his fav's) and proceeded to let him run screaming and laughing through the sprinkler and dig up mud with his bare hands for an hour.

Hopefully, he will sleep soundly and his body will purge the psychotrippy steroids a bit and back off the allergies and life will start to return to normal.  Either that, or I'm going to be living in a Tom and Jerry cartoon for the foreseeable future, because it is clearly NEVER GOING TO RAIN.

Wish me luck.